These are guidelines that I developed over the decades. Will every rule apply to you? Probably not, especially if you are opening for Elton at the Beacon. But for most basic gigs, these recommendations tend to make the night go smoother than bumpier.
The first fifteen were:
Gig Rule #1: The client is always right – in real time.
Gig Rule #2: Gently smile – not grin - at all times.
Gig Rule #3: You were hired to play music – not to be funny, tell stories, teach, or be therapeutic.
Gig Rule #4: Have a set list with more songs prepared than you will need.
Gig Rule #5: Get the venue’s wifi password and log on before you start to play so you can look up a requested song’s lyrics on the fly.
Gig Rule #6: If you have never played the venue before, bring extra extension cords as well as a few ground lifts in case of sixty-cycle hum issues.
Gig Rule #7: Pack an emergency bag with extra strings, extra bridge pins, an extra XLR cord, nine volt batteries, and _______________.
Gig Rule #8: Start on time and play an extra song at the end.
Gig Rule #9: Before you finish a song, know what the next song will be and start it as quickly as possible.
Gig Rule #10: The only person you are allowed to make a joke about when the mic is live is yourself. Anything else is an unnecessary risk.
Gig Rule #11: Don’t swear. Imagine that everyone in front of you has the morals of a born-again Christian.
Gig Rule #12: Find out what songs people what to hear and then play them.
Gig Rule #13: Make eye contact with the audience at least every ten seconds.
Gig Rule #14: Understand and perform to the lowest common denominator in the room and only deviate when fulfilling requests.
Gig Rule #15: Solicit requests on a face-to-face basis and then play them.
Here we go:
Gig Rule #16: If you know before the gig that you have to announce any kind of information, write everything out - including phonetic spellings of tricky names.
You trained to be a musician, not a public speaker – but sometimes the gig requires us to be an orator. Preparation is key.
Whether on paper or a tablet, use the largest font possible.
Go over pronunciations until they roll off your tongue.
And speak slowly.
Gig Rule #17: People hear what they see so give them both: something to hear as well as see. Don’t be a statue.
Occasionally attract the customers’ attention by moving.
This is taking eye contact taken to the next level. Most venues don’t give performers a lot of space so your options for movement are mercifully limited. Your moves should not be as severe as the “Hokey Pokey” but a bit more animated than a something you’d see in a wax museum.
If some of your listeners have issues with mobility, don’t hesitate to go to them and engage them directly in conversation or even do a song at their table. Make sure if they are in a wheelchair that you are eye-level with them so it is easier for them to look you in the eye and appreciate what you are doing.
If you are playing and notice that some of the people in the room have profound hearing loss, hopefully you will know your American Sign Language alphabet and sign a few cordial words to them.
I always carry a few balloons in one of my milk crates.
Why?
If you offer people with severe hearing loss a blown-up balloon, they will be able to hold it gently by their finger tips on either side and feel of the vibrations of music coming out of your amp.
It’s just another way for you to have your music connect with the people in the venue.
Gig Rule #18: Take the fewest amount of breaks as possible.
There are two lines of thought on this.
Some say take as few breaks as possible, verging on “continuous”.
Others say do “40/20s” or “45/15s”. The theory is that taking a break gives the audience a break from hearing you continuously perform.
The problem with the second premise is that once you go on break, what does the manager usually do? Turn on house music.
If you keep mixing things up, the audience won’t get bored – so I say play as long as you can. It’s one of the big reasons I always try and play both piano and guitar on my gigs, namely, the sonic variety that it provides.
It’s a good time to break when a new batch of diners or listeners come in.
Take a moment, visit them at their tables or at the bar, and ask them what they would like to hear.
Ostensibly, a break isn’t a chance to chill; it’s an opportunity to work the room.
Gig Rule #19: It is better to be not loud enough than to be too loud.
Before you start the gig, ask a floor manager, server, or bar tender to let you know if you are too loud or too soft. Aim for softer. Make sure people can hold a conversation over your playing and singing – and that you can understand some of what they are saying.
That said, resist the temptation to just be “sonic wallpaper”: so soft, meek, and inconsequential that the management could easily replace you with piped-in house music. You’re a musician and you are there to be heard as well as set an atmosphere. Just be aware that if you overpower the acoustics of the room, especially the ability for people to easily converse, your music will be more of a bug than a feature.
Gig Rule #20: Don’t let customers sit in, sing, or play.
This rarely works out to you OR the audience’s advantage.
My home owner’s insurance rider stipulates that I am the only person authorized to use my musical equipment. That means if I allow someone’s Great Aunt Lucy to sing or play my equipment on stage and she trips, falls, and breaks my mixer or guitar, it won’t be covered.
Feel free to say the same thing if people are persistent about sharing the stage with you.
Don’t surrender control of your gig or rig to the audience. You are there to perform; they are there to enjoy it. Keep it that way.
I always carry two Shure SM58 mics. While the second one is for the possibility of the first one failing on the gig, I will often rely on it if someone in charge at the venue needs to make an announcement. I don’t share my vocal mic with anyone.
If someone uses one of my mics on a gig in a situation like that, I always clean the mic grill with alcohol afterwards when no one is around.
Last stop: the final five “Rules” starting with #21.
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